Conscious Empathy

“𝙒𝙚 𝙗𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙢 𝙡𝙚𝙛𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚.”

Author and medical doctor Rachel Naomi Remen wrote these words about those in the medical profession. From her many years of practice, she has shared that the power to cure is limited, but the power to offer compassion and shared experience can help others to heal.

As a leader or manager, expertise cannot create the power to cure all ills. However, acknowledging the repeated crises that we continue to live through, and mourning for those whom we have never met, is open to all humans.

Believing that more is within our control leads to unrealistic expectations.

You cannot tell others how to feel or to dissociate from those emotions and expect them to function wholly. Medical personnel and those in the helping professions are being taught how to express empathy because many dissociate as a means of “self-protection.”

Researcher Christine Maslach defined three sub-factors of job burnout as emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and lacking a sense of personal accomplishment.

Such is the case among employees at all levels. Workers in many fields feel overwhelmed with emotional and physical exhaustion and the lack of control in their own lives.

The unrealistic expectations can come from organizations, leaders, team members, or individuals. In response, we may place too many on ourselves in trying to balance far too many demands and too few mental and physical resources.

Doing too much based on someone else’s directive, demands, or timetable without autonomy can sap our overloaded brains.

Just as burnout has different stages, recovery takes time to find what works for us.

𝗕𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝘀𝘂𝗯𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝘆𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗼𝗺𝘀, 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻.

Try adding a little self care through:

• Movement
• Nutrition
• Developing boundaries between work and home
• Learning to let go of unrealistic expectations
• Don’t leave yourself too isolated or alone (social support from loved ones and friends outside of work can help)
• Empathy and self-compassion
• Finding something you’re passionate about or that energizes you

The human in me sees that you need to receive conscious empathy as well as provide it to others. It is not in our control to cure all that is unresolved. However, it is in our control to share experience as collectively wounded people to empower ourselves and others to heal.

Make time to discover what is most meaningful and comforting to you. Take good care of yourself so you can care for others in any part of your life.